|back in the sun
||[May. 20th, 2007|08:30 pm]
|||||a little nervous||]|
i'm a little unsure of everything right now, and i cant help feeling restless. graduation is this week and its all over with high school, finally.
summer vacation is around the corner. i'm totally stoked.
i leave uganda on the 16th of june, to the UK & France for the Earth Crisis dates. and then i'll be in NYC by late June.
i dont know what i'm doing. sure, i want to hang out for a good minute but then what when that gets played out? i'm so afraid of comitting to a certain place, and staying put. lately, it feels like its so much easier to leave, i get better at it everytime. i never thought that would be a problen in new york. maybe it isnt and i just think it is.
okay, fine. soon enough, the answers will unravel themselves. but one thing is sure, i'm not sticking around nyc for the winter.
lately, i've been hanging out a lot with a few genuine people making my last weeks here count for all its worth. most of all, i'm totally in LOVE. and at times, i just want to fucking scream so hard, because i have never felt so crazy before. and its not even like i want to get married but shit, i know....stronger than you ever knew, stronger then i ever knew. so what comes next with me and you? i cant escape... i cant run as far, i cant run as fast, i cant get free of you. its utterly impossible.
and the craziest thing, is i knew it all along.
this week is going to be one the longest weeks ever, but thats okay. i'll take it all in day by day. because i know never again will i ever be exactly where i am now, 18 without a clue, evenings on my balcony, listening to jazz on sundays, staying up all night on the phone, laughing about whatever with good friends...the thing is its all very unique and on to its own. i know that no where else where will i feel the way i feel here. and thats special.
and im ready for nostalgic and very new feelings back home, and anywhere. maybe indonesia, maybe costa rica or maybe capetown with my favorite person in the world.
x's & ohh's
SUMMER '07 HERE I COME!